It’s been almost three months since I crossed the finish line of my first half-ironman distance triathlon. Although, I trained hard and was having the race of my life, I found myself finishing the race against all odds. At mile fifty-three of the fifty-six mile bike, I was hit side-on by a SUV. Yet, I still finished the race. I crossed the finish line wearing USMC combat boots, covered in road rash, my left-arm in a sling, and an ice pack on my hip.
Slowly, my body has healed and I’ve been able to go back to training yet my bike still remains neatly packed in bubble wrap. It looks exactly the way it did when UPS delivered it to my home following the race. It has been sitting untouched in my garage for three months. Since my race I have found many excuses why I haven’t rebuilt my bike and I have given hundreds of reasons why I haven’t been back out for a ride. Deep down I know why I haven’t done either — I’m scared. The desire to be in close proximity with fast moving vehicles keeps me caged like an animal. When that truck hit me, I lost my invincibility.
My scars act as a reminder of the impact my body took. I still have a large, tender knot under my skin near my left hip. When touched it instantly reminds me of the pain I felt that day. People say time heals everything, but does it? The terrifying images of that SUV racing toward me, the shock of the impact, they should be a distant memory by now, right? I shouldn’t be flinching when someone or something moves towards me quickly, but I do. I lie to my husband, my friends and myself, I tell them I’m okay. And I am, but am I? Why has my desire to ride my bike died? Why is my prized possession (my bike) still in the garage in pieces?
Today while reading a book by Mark Batterson titled, Wild Goose Chase I had an Ahh-Ha monument. These words hit me with a hard truth, “We have a tendency to remember what we should forget and forget what we should remember.”
That’s what I’ve been doing I have been focusing on what I don’t want to remember — the accident. When I should be focusing on the joy of crossing the finish line in spite of my accident. I should be focusing on the fact that God was so faithful that day and he covered me with supernatural protection. My accident could have ended dramatically different. I could have suffered broken bones, internal injuries, or I could have died. But, I didn’t I was protected and avoided serious harm. My focus should be on my ability to still ride, run, and live.
God protected me so I can tell His story. The story of how He sent angels to cover me, so much so that my bike and my helmet came out of the crash without a scratch. How I was able to finish what I started despite being extremely sore and covered in road rash. How his favor helped me push through the pain and discomfort. God wants me to tell you that He’s always with you and that His love is everlasting.
Instead of focusing on my mental discomfort of getting back on the bike I should be focusing on the fact that God protected me. I’m alive! I’m able to inspire others with my story. I’m able to share with them and you the story of God’s love.
God needs and wants me to unpack my bike. Unpacking my bike and getting back on it is an act of faith. By allowing it to sit in my garage collecting dust I’m saying, “I don’t trust you, God. I don’t know if you’ll protect me again.”
But, I do trust God and as an act of faith I’m going to unpack my bike; I’m going to rebuild it and I will start training again. Today I will choose to focus on the love and protection of God. Every pedal stroke I take will be a covenant with God and a celebration of what he has done in my life.
What are you focusing on today? Are you focusing on the things that went wrong in your life or are you focusing on the good things that you have and should be thankful for? What will you do today to step out in faith?